D'Arts Cafe

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Uncle Tai's Birthday

B'Day cake sponsored by Sam

B'Day boy cutting the cake

Those who were there

yup ... me too

Ahlee - ouch!

Well-endowed Leng Lui

Those piercing eyes

Surfing the net with style

So touched that he shed a tear

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Worrying news about beer

This indeed is worrisome

Beer contains female hormones

Last month, Wits University and RAU scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women .

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :

1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally.

8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

Got this as a forward mail.
Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer !

Friday, February 26, 2010

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk..
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath t he whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on..
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING CAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!