My condition

Seems that things seem pretty bleak for recovery. Now in HDU Pantai. God knows what His plans are. I may pull through this round, i may not.

My life have been without any regrets with a wonderful family whom i love very very much, especially my wife who has been so strong and loving in these difficult times.

If God's plan is for me to be with Him soon, then my wish is for:
-  My darling wife to be strong for our 2 darling daughters;
-  Doreen to complete your UPM studies and make papa and mummy proud
-  Sherene to try your best in studies and together with Doreen, take care of mummy

To my siblings, my love to you all
To my relatives and friends, stay healthy and be happy
To my JB friends, do render help to Carol if needed.
To my Mlk friends/collegues, it was great know you guys sharing our joys and troubles.

If His plan is to help me fight this through, who knows a miracle may happen. If so, then treat this post as premature.

God bless.

SOB

Shortness of breath (SOB) hit me again yesterday and i got myself admitted to Pantai today. X-ray showed that it was not due to fluid build up. So they will observe me for 3 days in the HDU. Strictly no TV but i pray for Germany to win the Cup.

Be thankful!

Read this excerpt from an article by an oncologist:

"Cancer cells are the dump site of the body. I always coax my patients to be thankful for the cancer cells because they have let you Iive for 8-13 years more. If not for them, which filter the rubbish in the blood, you might have died of septicemia then."

Hmm... I am still trying to figure it out!

Breathlessness

Over the weekend, shortness of breath (SOB) crept in and i found myself gasping for air each time i climbed 3 flights of stairs to my apartment. It got worse. I couldn't sleep for 3 nights due to the very heavy breathing. Even sleeping upright was impossible. Damn scary, you know.

Had no choice but to bring forward my medical appointment to 18 june (a week earlier). X-ray showed that a lot of fluid had accumulated around the right lung thus restricting oxygen intake. A chest drain was done by inserting a small tube into the lung area to drain out the fluid.

It was professionally done by one Dr Hwang who explained step by step to me throughout the entire procedure (i was on local). About 2.5 litres - imagine 2 1/2 big mineral water bottles - were drained out over a 3-day period. And that's hellava lot to me!

The 3 X-rays showed the amount of fluid (bottom area of the right lung) firstly detected, accummulated and then drained.

Will discharge today. Feeling any better? Of cos but the problem is not completely resolved. The doc said there are a few causes of the SOB. He only solved part of the problem. Issues of the lung cancer will need to be resolved by the onco. If not, the SOB will recur [sigh again].

The whole procedure including 4D3N stay (+meals) costs me RM5,700 :(

I will be shifting shortly to Tmn Kenanga (landed property) soon... No need to climb 3 flights of stairs anymore.

Bigger a bit

Had a medical appointment today and did a blood test, urine test and had an x-ray done.

Bloody tumor gone bigger. [sigh] Very sian liao.

Anyway, will still continue with the current medication for another month and see how la...

Sojourn to Sg Petani

Was at Sg Petani last weekend to seek for blessings from our Blessed Mother Mary in the Chapel of Immaculate Conception. Some photos of the chapel, the hotel we stayed in Ipoh and the nice food we had.

Change in medication

Not good news. The @/$:):&-!. tumor has grown in size.

Cancer marker is now 300+. Hence the doctor advised to stop using the current drug, taxotere.

After exploring the alternative drugs available and their associated costs, the doc prescribed tarceva which is in pill form to be taken orally every day on an empty stomach.

Have been on it for about 2 weeks now. Good thing is that the drug targets and kills the cancer cells only and leaves the body cells intact.

Bad news are the side effects, which includes mouth ulcers, rashes and itchiness on certain parts of the body, diarrhea, appetite loss and splitting nails.

So far, diarrhea comes on and off and also a bit of mouth ulcers and a bit of rashes have appeared [touch wood].

Shaved clean today

Latest x-ray

Did my chemo yesterday. While reading the news of the missing MH370, i dozed off for the entire hour while on IV. This time round, the doctor reduced the dosage as the adverse side effects of the previous chemo were a bit too drastic.

Below are the images of the tumor on the right lung. Latest x-ray (right) was taken yesterday as compared to the CT Scan image taken during the previous visit.

No choice. Haircut.

Before and After

My oh my .............. Hair

Terrible time

After having done the CT scan + blood test + chemo and rested for a day, it was back to office mainly to fill up my time sheet and have a team discussion on Friday.

High fever came and persisted so it was back to Pantai on Saturday for a blood test. Guess what? There were traces of dengue anti bodies. This meant that I had dengue recently which I din even know!

Then came the severe side effects. Lots of wind. Kept burping and farting. Diarrhoea attack. Body aches. Fever. Severe fatigue. Like a zombie. Half dead. Was in bed most of the time.

Couldn't report for work and even had to miss one ACM which was important for me to attend.

Images of CT scan

The tumour on my right lung.

Day 210 (Week 31)

After a 6-week break, I am resuming my chemo treatment but using another drug called TAXOTERE. CT Scan showed that the tumour grew to about 5x6 cm. Cancer marker at 222 U/mL.

After chemo, while standing up and getting ready to leave, i noticed blood on the floor, tray and over my left wrist and sleeve. Apparently, blood was still oozing out from the vein used fot the IV! Nurse Margaret cleaned up the mess.

My usual session took a twist this time round with the doc saying prayer in our presence. He also asked me to read "Psalm 1-21" of the Bible which was supposed to be my assignment for the next 3 weeks...

By the way, I have been taking Porcupine bezoar (in capsule form) for the past week. This "powder" apparently works miracles and is very expensive. Thanks to Arthur (my boss) who bought them from a friend and FOCed to me. Shhh.... don't tell the doctor.

So How?

Got a call from the clinic to see Dr Daniel yesterday. I was told that the ALK mutation tests turned out negative which means that I will not be able to take the targetted drug XALKORI.

So chemo remains the only option but this time on a different drug called TAXOTERE. Side effects will be severe, such as hair loss, numbness of fingers, fatigue ...

Question is when to recommence my chemo. Doc says it's ok to take a chemo break till after CNY.  So we agreed to start again on 19 Feb. Have to take a CT scan as well.

So God help me.